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Thought For the Day
Note to the BBC: Recruiting David
Dimbleby and a load of baying loons
to verbally rough up Nick Griffin
is NOT the model of impartiality...
Moonlighting ... More Of My Articles Here
The stark reality of a romantic liaison with Serena Williams would no doubt hit home the moment you suffered a pulverised rib-cage after dressing as a US Open line judge in a misguided attempt at role-play.
New Guy Ritchie Movie Rewritten to Include More Pop Star Death Scenes
Guy Ritchie has delayed post-production on his latest movie and ordered a series of last-minute rewrites to the as-yet-untitled period drama.
...and not all of them for the Gay Cartoon page! Thanks for your support.
The Money Programme Cricket Team Website
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Ever logged on to Amateur Scribe and been confronted with the same old rubbish that's been up there for weeks? Annoying, isn't it? Well stay calm. Simply send me your email address and every time the site gets updated you'll be instantly notified in the form of a hastily cobbled together email alert. You never need miss a poorly constructed, woefully under-researched satirical news story again...
Follow the fortunes of the best Sunday cricket team in the country to be named after a BBC2 finance-based current affairs show (though those bastards over at Working Lunch are running us close - that Adrian Chiles knows how to wield the willow, I can tell you...)
Scores, match reports and player profiles mingle delectably with more geeky stats than you can shake a stick at.
Obviously, were I a successful professional writer, a world-renowned wit, or even a marginally recognisable literary figure with a regular slot on the Late Review talking about Richard Curtis films with Germaine Greer, then this would be where I introduce myself, wheel out a smug catalogue of my past achievements and post a glossy black and white headshot of me staring wistfully into the
middle distance. As it is, I am heartbreakingly unknown, unpublished and, crucially, unphotogenic, so I have, instead, commissioned my three-year-old half-brother Joel to do my portrait.
From the Other Stuff Section:
About Me
With the brutal inevitability of Richard Dawkins nasally browbeating a kindly rural vicar, I find myself careering towards my 33rd birthday.
From the Sport Section:
I think you will agree he has done a bang up job – there is enough mystery about the picture to shroud me in a comfortable ambiguity - even to protect my identity completely – and yet, somehow, he has managed to capture me perfectly: The neurosis, the anguish of a bitter, indecisive soul, the streaky turquoise shins... In many ways, it's like looking in the mirror.
The romantic fiction / locker-room crossover gathers pace with the latest offering from Mills and Boon.
The Author (not actual size)
Disclaimer:
The views expressed on this site represent the opinions of the author only and are in no way rooted in fact or even hearsay. No offence is intended and any nastiness directed towards celebrities (or indeed Sue Barker) is purely in jest.
AS
All material
(apart, of course, from the odd photo "borrowed" off the web...)
Lucky Dip Picture Board
