Some Stories Making the Headlines...
"It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper."
Jerry Seinfeld
New Guy Ritchie Movie Rewritten to Include More Pop Star Death Scenes
Britain Suffers Whingiest August Since Records Began
Report - 57% of Aristo Kids Now Carry Muskets
Britney Finally Passes Rolling Stones Audition
London Now 2nd Most Dangerous Place in Britain, After Midsomer
Rugby World Cup Breeds New Style of Yobbo
Facebook Profiles to Replace CVs by 2010
Devil Walks the Earth in the Form of Sharon Osborne
Dirk Benedict in Tenuous Escape from Big Brother House
Des Quits Telly to "Spend More Time with the Ladies"
Iraq Hostage Kember Re-kidnapped by The Sun
Gay Community Outraged by Controversial Cartoon
Blair Declares Monopoly Win "A Victory for Britain"
God Comes Clean on 7th Commandment Prank
Soccer Star Shearer in Monogamy Shame
African Dignitary Nervous About Visit to Highgrove
Gossip Rife at Water Cooler Manufacturer
* Isn't that just blinking typical? You write a ridiculous spoof news article in good faith, and those crazy Mancunian has-beens call your bluff. Take That actually are getting back together which, to my mind, is ever so slightly eerie - portly thirty-five year olds squeezing into their white vests and doing all that gyrating and leaping about - That Gary Barlow wants to be careful - he'll do himself a mischief. It's a shame really - I quite liked the image of Howard Donald as a KwikFit Fitter. Next thing you know Noel Edmonds will be making a highly successful TV comeback. Oh. Still a twat though. I stand by that.
